It is estimated that 1 in 11 people in the US will be diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in their lifetimes. After 14 years in this field, I’m inclined to suggest that number might be higher.

Trauma comes in many forms and we’re only just beginning to understand the full range of definition of that term. We now know that the brains of infants exposed to adults yelling will develop fight-flight-freeze operations similar to that of adults suffering stress disorders. We understand that verbal threats made by parents in childhood affect the developing brain in ways similar to physical violence. We can observe imaging that suggests the neurobiological changes wrought by feeling in any way unsafe as kids can and do affect us throughout our lifespan.

We might be more anxious in relationships. We might be prone to high risk behaviors. Disagreements might deteriorate into arguments and attachment ruptures before we even know what’s happened. Depression and dissociation may have kept us from achieving goals that seem easy for other people. Alternately we may only feel okay if we are hyperachieving, but since hyperachievment looks good on paper no one around us knows how unbearable things are inside.

It’s been my experience that most people with trauma-affected brains are completely unaware of how many facets of their lives are touched by the ways trauma has shaped their experience. One of the most fulfilling and life-affirming moments in my work is when a client can finally look at their lives with the compassion that comes from understanding how trauma has affected them, instead of the self-loathing and shame of judging themselves because their brains work differently.